In this episode, we sit down and have a chat about random topics on our mind. We touch on kids (as usual), and then we talk about our experiences of imposter syndrome and a few other bits.
Here are some of the highlights from our discussion:
Imposter syndrome arises when we find ourselves in a position which we feel we don't deserve. These feelings of imposter syndrome tend to result from looking inward and, through the spotlight effect, we feel as if everyone is judging our performance. But, in reality, everyone is most probably worried about what they are doing rather than concerned about you.
“You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realised how seldom they do” Eleanor Roosevelt
One way to get rid of the sense of self in these situations is to think of yourself as the steward rather than an expert. Being a steward suggests that you are guiding people rather than positioning yourself as being 'above' others. This idea of a steward thus helps you to detach the sense of self from the element that is creating this unease.
Seeing oneself as a steward is a helpful frame in a range of contexts that we might not expect. For instance, it can even help when hosting dinner parties – you are not there to perform or directly entertain everyone. Your hosting duties are more aligned with being a steward and indirectly entertaining by bringing people together.
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